“I have no plans to replace you. You seem competent at your job.”
“I am no surgeon. I only know what I have been exposed to and what I have read in the books.”
“Do you want to leave?”
She met his eyes and he saw a moment of uncertainty flash in her eyes. It hurt him to think he was responsible for that fear.
“I have nowhere else to go. No prospects. No family. No home. All I have is a ship that I will never see again thanks to you.”
“Charlie….”
The scope of how his rash action had affected her grasped at him with sharp claws. It was almost enough to make him turn the ship around. Almost. But he couldn’t do it. He wanted her. Not just her body, but all of her. He knew she was the woman he had to have.
“You have my protection. I am responsible for you and what happens to you. Never doubt it.”
Charlie knew, unless she was willing to pose as male again, she would need his protection. Even aboard the Arcadia, it was only due to her father’s protection that she had managed to live as free as she had. It was true that women who didn’t have a man’s protection had a poor outcome.
“Aye, but for how long? What will happen when you tire of me? A day will come when you realize this arrangement of sharing your cabin is inconvenient and what then?”
He stood up from his desk and crossed to her. He took her hands and pulled her up to him.
“I know you’re scared, Charlie. And I’m sorry for my part in that. You may feel you’re on a boat with no rudder, but I’m telling you now, there’s a towrope I’m pulling in. All you have to do is give me time and trust me and you’ll find a safe harbor.”
She searched his face trying to understand what he was saying. What choice did she have but to trust him? Charlie already knew he was drawing her in, but to what ends she didn’t know.
He wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer, but she pulled away stepping back with one hand on his chest.
“Not until you apologize to Daniel.”
“If anyone owes someone an apology; it’s Daniel who owes me.”
“That’s right the captain has absolute power therefore no one can question you.”
“I was defending you.” Jaxon’s voiced rose in anger.
“After you implied you were going to kill him. I was in the corridor, Jaxon. I heard the end of the conversation.”
“He knows I didn’t mean it?”
“You take it for granted you will have his unconditional love. So what if one brother hates you, you have another. You don’t know what it is to have no family, or you would cherish them more.”
Jaxon returned to his desk as if by doing so the conversation was over.
Charlie noticed the willow bark tea she had made earlier was still there.
“You didn’t drink your tea.” Without thought she reached for his forehead. Still hot. “No wonder you’re so crabby.”
“Stop mother-henning me, woman,” he snapped, pushing her hand away, remembering the last time.
“This is why you are paying me…. You are paying me, aren’t you?”
“Aye, don’t be ridiculous, of course I’m paying you,” Jax said. “Whatever you were making as second mate on the other ship plus ten.”
“Hardly seems appropriate for me to take that much when I’m doing so little work. Would you mind if I joined one of the watches to earn my keep? I really hate this idleness.”
“You’re not joining a watch.”
Charlie knew what his answer would be before she asked so she decided to protest in her own way rather than argue.
“Drink your tea.”
“I’d rather not.”
“I have no duty other than to stand here and make you drink that tea.”
“It doesn’t contain laudanum or morphine does it?”
“No, those come from opium which is from the poppy. This is just willow bark boiled in a little water. It’s good for bringing down fever and mild pain relief like headaches and soreness. It tastes like the devil and might upset your stomach, but you won’t feel any of the—” She hesitated trying to come up with the right word. “Drunkenness one gets from the other.”
“I won’t want to keep using it?”
“No, but if you prefer I can make a poultice for you that may or may not help, but with a stench so bad, you’ll be airing out your cabin for a week.”
“I’ll drink it for a kiss.”
“You’re not getting a kiss until you make up with Daniel.”
Charlie crossed the room to Jaxon’s bunk. “Drink the tea,” she said stretching out on it. “Drink the tea.” She kept repeating it every thirty seconds just to annoy him.